when daybreak came
I was the first to wake up
battered unhinged
with the great cloud of Metropolitan New York
rising before us
in and washed
we jumped
through the Lincoln tunnel
oh damn
it was only the beginning
pitched
among the pots and pans
sprawled on the floor
four thousand miles withdrew
to a dark corner
This is an erasure poem using words found on page 117 of On The Road by Jack Kerouac
This is an erasure poem using words found on page 117 of On The Road by Jack Kerouac
13 comments:
awesome...haven't read on the road yet but def. will soon...love the atmosphere..jumping through lincoln tunnel..four thousand miles withdrawing to a dark corner..cool write
with the great cloud of Metropolitan New York
rising before us....nice...
and oh damn its just beginning cracked me up....
great piece...
Love the choice! I have long been a Kerouac fan. First read him when I was a kid - influenced ALL my early work. This captures the spirit of the piece so well!
very cool, really enjoyed this !
I like
'four thousand miles
withdrew to a dark corner.'
I read On the Road so long ago...your poem whets my appetite for it once more.
Very cool, great source to pull from and your lines crackle with life. I felt the beat :)(punnys are the worst, sorry). Love what you allude to and what you hightlight.
Hmm... I think this is sensual and imaginative.
Those last two lines just kill it--very nice piece throughout!
...a great take on this exercise..great to read while one is on the road as well..
Perfect choice, wonderfully executed. k.
I felt the city, I felt the travel, I felt city life as it is (or was) and can be. Really good poem.
Funny read!
That seems to be the thing about that sort of poetry, you can slice it up and it still reads similar.
Oh, Jack! His voice is recognizable, your voice harmonizes nicely. This feels more like a collaboration of great, creative minds than an erasure exercise.
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